Wednesday, March 20, 2013

BINGO! (just kidding)

Richard Webster loves Bingo. And you'd better not mess with his Bingo. He will arrest you if you do.

Austin Whaley learned this fact the hard way - and his learning experience came with handcuffs. Eighteen year old Austin, and a group of friends, were visiting a Bingo parlor in Covington, Kentucky, when they concluded that Bingo was very boring.

Determined to liven up everyone's evening, Austin yelled out, "BINGO!" That's when his troubles started. Because Richard Webster loves his bingo.

Richard arrested Austin for disorderly conduct, which is a legal term meaning, "You have pissed me off, I don't like your attitude, and I think you're an ass hat."

An angry Richard explained that this kind of behavior was like going to a baseball game and randomly  yelling, "STRIKE 3!"  And everybody knows that will be the very moment that the world will go to hell in a paint bucket, ushering in the apocalypse.

Judge Douglas Grothaus apparently also takes his Bingo seriously. Instead of sentencing Austin to jail time, where he would be able to shout, "BINGO!" unmolested (at least until someone got sick of him and stabbed him to death with a shiv made from a toothbrush), Hiz Onner ruled that Austin would be prohibited from saying, "Bingo" for 6 months.

So, boys and girls, the world is now safe from evil criminals who shout, "The Bingo hall is on fire!" in a crowded theater.  Meanwhile Richard is still hanging out at the Bingo hall, waiting for his ship to come in.

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